i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
