i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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