It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
