Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
