She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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