Non-Jews are for practice
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
