Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
