Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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