She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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