My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
