We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Don't EVER smell your tampon
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize