i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
