Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
