Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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