here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
