It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
