just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
where am i from again
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
