I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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