i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
