if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
