i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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