i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have fence marks all over my body
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
