i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
