In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
