drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
