In America we eat man semen.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
