Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize