I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
