i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think people are normalizing furries
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
