what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
