Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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