Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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