All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
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He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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