Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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