; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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