i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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