i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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