i can't believe i had my finger in that
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
