I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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