Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
