We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
