I think I am morally bankrupt
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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