So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
