Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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