I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He shit in the fireplace
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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