I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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