I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
