He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
