Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think your dad took our porno
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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