Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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