I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
