Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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