ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
