Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize