He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
