They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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