get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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