It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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