The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I need to align my fucking chakras
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
