Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
