you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
50% drunk capacity currently
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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