At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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