Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
